fate

theres a reason for everything that happens. theres a reason i'm still alive, and theres a reason for all the people i've encountered in my life. theres a reason i have the friends i have,t he lover i have, and the family i have. your life is planned before you can even take a breathe, the people you meet are planned meetings. theres a reason your here baby, with me. i just hope, if theres nothing else you get from texas, you get that we are meant to be. i love you. i know it would be selfish of me to say that god brought you to texas to bring us together, but in some weird way, i hope that he did. i hope you see that we are meant to be. you have taught me so much in the short few months we've known eachother. i shouldve known that first day that my heart skipped a beat for a reason. i love you, and thats all i really know. i have loved you from the first day i set my eyes upon you and i love you now, and i will love you tomorrow and next month, and at graduation when your name is called, i will cheer your name and whisper that you are my love. and at the end of the summer when i leave, i will love you then, and when i come through your town on my way home, i will love you then, and maybe even take a detour to see your street. and i will love you from now on.

if he dont want to, love you the right way, he aint gonna.

well, he is absolutely amazing.
and knows all the right things to say
and is making me fall head over heels in love with him.
he is protective and strong
and pulls me back towards him when i try to pull away
and when i went to his house, he told me welcome home
and thats what i want to hear
again
and everyday
for the rest of my life.

like the fire needs the air, i wont burn unless your there.

One day you fall for this boy; and he touches you with his fingers. And he burns holes in your skin with his mouth. And it hurts when you look at him. And it hurts when you don't

today was beyond amazing. lying in bed for an hour with him was beautiful. we didnt have sex, but we didnt need to, today i felt such a deeper connection with him. just being held by him, our bodies pressed against each other. i know how i feel after today, i know he is who i want, more than ever before, his simple kisses, the way he pulls me closer when i try to pull away, the way he doesnt want me to move. i love his compliments. i love hiding my face away in his chest when i'm shy or nervous or blushing.i love his smile, and how with him near i cant stop smiling. i love his smell.

he is a gentleman, he is classy and classic. he would never hurt a woman, but he will fight for me if thats what he has to do. i dont believe that he will be mine, but i refuse to give up this fight. he is the most amazing being i have ever seen, i never want to see again...from this day forward, i am surely blind.

"My heart went cold and only hollow rhythms resounded from within, but then he rose, brilliant as the moon in full and sank in the burrows of my keep, and all my armor, falling down, in a pile at my feet." - Fiona Apple, 'Pale September'

"I have shed this dry hard shell--traded its comfort for your eyes." – Boy Sets Fire, "fine art of falling"

"Because though it was already happening to me, I could not see how I would ever come to hate the people I loved. Yet at the same time I could do nothing to stop it, and that would not change for a very long time." -Stewart Nan, 'Snow Angels'

and i had you.

i am currently falling in love with you.
i hope your realizing this
i hope it never ends
i want to spend my days laying in your arms
and feeling your kiss
with my hand in yours
the way it perfectly fits
and i want to stare into your eyes
and know i'll be alright.
but i will never get any of this.
your hearts taken already
and im just too late
or just not right for you.
but, she left you
doesnt that mean a thing to you?
and for some reason, something brought your family to this town
more then just a job
some insignificant thing.
i hope i'm that insifnificant thing.