I can't make up my mind.
on..anything.
I can't make up my mind on what it is I can't make up my mind about.
That troubles me deeply.
I can't seem to catch a break from myself. I'm under constant scrutiny and deception from myself.
I'll be my own damn demise, i swear.
I think I'm going crazy.
I sit and I think about things that shouldn't matter to a person
like..
there's these cars that seem to be made of remnants of other cars. one door is one color, and another is the opposite. and i wonder what happened. and i sit alone and i think these thoughts and i think I'm going crazy. because i can't stop thinking about cars with different colored doors. so i worry.
oh god, i'm crazy.
and i worry if anyone would ever love a girl like me, who thinks about the cars made up of another car. and thinks too deeply about it. and those start to churn up other worrisome thoughts.
like why is love such a worry?
and i'm sure i could never share these thoughts with another person without risking the validity of my sanity.
i really think i'm going crazy.