your so worth the fight

not sure what to say about today
its w/e
i barely cried today =]
tommorrow will be great
i know it

She's tough. She tries to hide it. She's difficult. But if you make an effort, she's worth it. She's worth the effort

What's worse, new wounds which are so horribly painful or old wounds that should've healed years ago and never did? Maybe our old wounds teach us something. They remind us where we've been and what we've overcome. They teach us lessons about what to avoid in the future. That's what we like to think. But that's not the way it is, is it? Some things we just have to learn over and over and over again

I probably wont be really fine until I dont care if he's fine anymore

Too often, the thing you want most is the one thing you can't have. Desire leaves us heartbroken, it wears us out. Desire can wreck your life. But as tough as wanting something can be; The people who suffer the most, are those who don't know what they want.

Change; we don't like it, we fear it, but we can't stop it from coming. We either adapt to change or we get left behind. And it hurts to grow, anybody who tells you it doesn't is lying. But heres the truth: the more things change, the more they stay the same. And sometimes, oh, sometimes change is good. Oh, sometimes change is everything.

don't know anyone who isn't haunted by something or someone. And whether we try to slice the pain away with a scalpel or shove it in the back of a closet- our efforts usually fail. So the only way we can clear out the cobwebs is to turn a new page or put an old story to rest- finally, finally to rest.

The thing about addiction is it never ends well, because eventually, whatever it is that was getting us high stops feeling good and starts to hurt. Still, they say you don't kick the habit until you hit rock bottom, but how do you know when you're there? Because no matter how badly a thing is hurting us, sometimes letting it go hurts even worse.

People have scars. In all sorts of unexpected places. Like secret roadmaps of their personal histories. Diagrams of all their old wounds. Most of our wounds heal, leaving nothing behind but a scar. But some of them don't. Some wounds we carry with us everywhere and though the cut's long gone, the pain still lingers

live by everyword

today i was simply in existance
i havent cried, but i know the tears always fall
i just, im soo sick of this
i love him

eh


this is amazing,,

And I said "I've gotta be honest I've been waiting for you all my life." For so long I thought I was asylum bound, but just seeing you makes me think twice. And being with you here makes me sane, I fear I'll go crazy if you leave my side. -Dashboard Confessional

underneath the trees, we watched the skys, confusing stars, for satelites, i nvr dreamed that you'd be mine, but here we are, we made a life, singing a-men, im alive

I fell into you and now youre gracefully falling away

as we lie beneath the stars, we realize how small we are, if hey could love like you and me, imagine what the world could be

You know, it's been said that we just don't recognize the significant moments in our lives while they're happening, that we grow complacent with ideas or things or people, and we take them for granted, and it's usually not until that thing is about to be taken away from you, that you realize how wrong you've been, that you realize how much you really need it, how much you love it -One Tree Hill

You're the hardest habit to break and the craving most difficult to satisfy

this pain is just too real

i keep making up these reasons im sad
like oh well todays just a bad day
fuck that
im always sad. idk y, but i am
but ill get used to it
soon i wont even cry







theres just so much that time can not erase.

are we ashes in wine?

this stress is getting to me
i feel like im about to explode. i just, ahck idk
maybe i should just givee up and go back to it all, to my past, just have the happiness and non-stress it brings mee
better than this
eh


All I wanted to do was collapse in someone's arms and cry today...but there wasn't anyone there to catch me

You hug him goodbye like it's nothing, while all you want to do is hold on forever, but you let go, smile and walk away. Then cry all the way home because you know it will never be the same because try as you might, you can't make someone love you. Sometimes, you have to let them be free and letting go, that is when love hurts the most of all

This is where I say I've had enough. No one should ever feel the way that I feel now -- Dashboard Confessional

And I'd love to beg, but see I'm just too proud, and I don't even know what to say so I'm thinking out loud. - Goo Goo Dolls

If you need me, I'll be here… Half unconscious to escape my fear.-Staind

i'm finding my way back to you, and everything i used to be, and waiting is all that i can do, until you find your way back to me -- michelle branchnever give up on something you can't go a day without thinking about

With this knife I'll cut out the part of me, the part that cares for you - Smile Empty Soul

my problem is you made me melt,and i don't want to be frozen anymore. - incubus.

That's the most frightening aspect of loneliness...You think you're being damaged while loneliness is happening to you, and the worry amplifies the pain.- Douglas Couplandand

time and time againi lose everythingit's funny how it never changesi'm wrapped around your finger-stretch princess

words hurt more then anything else can, because they last, sometimes forever

why i've felt so alone, why i kept myself from love, and you became my favorite drug, so let me take you right now, and swallow you down, i need you inside -the calling

i dont believe in anythingbecause i once believed in you

goodbye my almost lover

today=bleh. nothing exciting, slightly stressful, but thats life right? all region will bring an end to me. ahck. im stressed about that
umm, tyler may try and find me a bf hehe.
find me a boy whos confidant and strong
but not arrogant or aggressive.
someone whos sensetive and caring but isnt too baby-ish. someone who can handle me throughout my crazyness, my emotions, and who will love my blonde moments.
who can handle my panic attacks, not just handle them, help me with them, stop them before they start.
mm ill add more
this geets bleh






this taught me that nothing last forever, and u cant plan ur future when ur only 15
you just have to find a reason to smile even if your dying inside

the worst is over, you can have the best of me

if theres millions of men out there, what says shelton was the one??
i mean, as much as i love him, if he was the one, i wouldnt hurt sooo much from him, he wouldnt let me. who knows, loves confusing.
on another subject, my postsecret still hasnt found its way to the eyes of millions. so whats a girl to do? send more in, maybe they'll change a life.

you're a falling star, you're the get away car. you're the line in the sand when i go too far. you're a swimming pool on an august day, and you're the perfect thing to say. and you play it coy, but it's kind of cute. and when you smile at me you know exactly what to do. baby, don't pretend that you don't know it's true 'cause you can see it when i look at you. and in this crazy life, and through these crazy times it's you, it's you. you make me sing. you're every line, you're every word, you're everything.- everything ; michael bublé

and if i could reverse it, i don't think that it'd be worth it. 'cause i know in my heart i would never let you tumble to the ground. no, i'll never let you fall. i would never let you tumble to the ground.- fell down the stairs ; tilly and the wall

these ugly places i don't want you to see. these smiling faces i don't want you to meet. your heart's extended out. they'll try and tear it out. you'll never be without the love that's between you and me.- on your own ; sense field

there's a field with a dream, i watched it grow with whitest lie. i watched us all reach out and lean for the strength to touch the sky. if you hear a distant sound and some footsteps by your side. if you feel like coming round, i will take you for a ride. if you wish it, wish it now. if you wish it, wish it loud. if you want it, say it now. if you want it, say it loud. we all make mistakes. here's your lifeline. if you want, i want too.- lifeline ; angels and airwaves

why, oh why you wear sunglasses in the home when the sun went down about an hour ago? life should not be that way. always up or down, never down and out. you dream of demons while you sleep that make stutter when you speak. always up or down, never down and out. you dream of demons while you sleep that make you stutter when you speak. speak now or forever hold your peace in pieces.- down and out ; the academy is..

this vacation's useless, these white pills aren't kind. i've given a lot of thought on this thirteen hour drive. i miss the grinded concrete where we sat past eight or nine, and slowly finished laughing in the glow of our headlights. i've given a lot of though to the nights we used to have. the days have come and gone, our lives went by so fast. i faintly remember breathing on your bedroom floor where i laid and told you but you sweared you loved me more. do you care if i don't know what to say? will you sleep tonight, or will you think of me? will i shake this off, pretend it's all okay, that there's someone out there who feels just like me.. there is. those notes you wrote me, i've kept them all. i've given a lot of though on how to write you back this fall. with every single letter in every single word, there will be a hidden message about a boy that loves a girl.- there is ; box car racer

it's so hard to say that i'm sorry. i'll make everything all right. all these things that i've done, now what have i become, and where did i go wrong? i don't mean to hurt, just to put you first. i won't tell you lies. i will stand accused with my hand on my heart. i'm just trying to say i'm sorry. it's all that i can say. you mean so much and i'd fix all that i've done. if i could start again, i'd throw it all away to the shadows of regrets and you would have the best of me.- best of me ; sum 41



this coming year will be a year of change, this year im not gonna care, ill be who i want to be, im gonna be me
in a year and a half ill start it all new, be gone from this God forsaken town, ill be in college, and ill be someone else,

sit back and relapse again

i did it again
i hate myself more and more each time
but its so fucking easy to do, it makes it better but later, its worse
just makes me miss him more
im so in love with him, and its useless

Okay so is it so bad that i'm trying to protect myself?I dont want to seem foolishor make anymore mistakes.I dont want to care anymore, and i dont want to wonderif i'll ever let you go...but i still do think about what your doingand how youve been....so i guessthe real truth is that i dont want toadmit to myself that i havent let you go...maybe that is what im protecting myself from.
i wont tell anyone what i really think about it. im too worried about what they might say. but hey, id rather keep it to myself. its not like my opinion matters.

theres alot of things you didnt find out after we were done with whateverit was that we had. theres something that no one knows about what impact you had on my life. Like, that i still cry about you andn why i wouldnt wannt to be with you. i cant help it. just the slightest thought of you andn what we had brinngs tears to my eyes. its not just becauseyour with her, ive been this emotional wreck ever since i broke us off. what was i thinking?i guess i just wasnt living my life the way i wanted too.





the future means nothing if your not in it with me





i was always told if you believe in something enough, then it will manifest itself
now i know not to believe in anything
i believed in us, a future of you and i and i built that up so high,that when it fell apart,i had nothing

and im slowly fading away

so ive been thinking
im not sure how much i miss him, he's so, wonderful, and its true i loved him, but how long can one person just long for the other while that other person is just fine without them?
he was one of the greatest people to ever come into my life, and i still love him with all of my heart
it would be soo much easier if i was mad at him, or if HE had done something wrong. he did nothing to make the relationship end. it was all me, i was the one who was scared and doubtful. i was the one who questioned, everything. and on top of it all, i had my problems, and i met ,, him, and i fell in love with him
thats the worst thing you can ever feel, loving two people at once.
shelton is so amazing, i cant help but miss him, but tyler was also so wonderful, and we never had a relationship, he never felt anything for me, i just fell in love witth him, a short lived fall, but it was deep, and it turned my world upside down.
i only wanted to quit because i thought changing would make him love me
turns out he will only love me as a friend, and its heartbreaking sometimes
but then again i doubt i would make him happy, i doubt i would change enough for his love
im just lost right now
the day was good, and then i started thinking and missing

And I fell hard, quickly. I think this is me finally realizing that it wasn't my fault, that things aren't just meant to be. I am going to stop being bitter and start being happy for all of the wealth that comes to him, because he will always have a special place in my heart and I think that he knows that.