i did it again
i hate myself more and more each time
but its so fucking easy to do, it makes it better but later, its worse
just makes me miss him more
im so in love with him, and its useless
Okay so is it so bad that i'm trying to protect myself?I dont want to seem foolishor make anymore mistakes.I dont want to care anymore, and i dont want to wonderif i'll ever let you go...but i still do think about what your doingand how youve been....so i guessthe real truth is that i dont want toadmit to myself that i havent let you go...maybe that is what im protecting myself from.
i wont tell anyone what i really think about it. im too worried about what they might say. but hey, id rather keep it to myself. its not like my opinion matters.
theres alot of things you didnt find out after we were done with whateverit was that we had. theres something that no one knows about what impact you had on my life. Like, that i still cry about you andn why i wouldnt wannt to be with you. i cant help it. just the slightest thought of you andn what we had brinngs tears to my eyes. its not just becauseyour with her, ive been this emotional wreck ever since i broke us off. what was i thinking?i guess i just wasnt living my life the way i wanted too.
the future means nothing if your not in it with me
i was always told if you believe in something enough, then it will manifest itself
now i know not to believe in anything
i believed in us, a future of you and i and i built that up so high,that when it fell apart,i had nothing
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