we have reached the point where even your most affectionate
adjectives your scintillating personality, your foremost fortitudes
do not lift the corners of my lips, i have become too familiar with the
crunching sound of sternum into ribcage to soak myself into the hollow
sound of your voice reaching towards me all you are to me now is a
symbolization of everything to avoid and i wish i could give you another
chance but you have already built my defenses too high

you are a lopsided tornado, blundering your way in that typical
cumbersome manner throughout the depth of my giving no
thought to the arteries you are ripping apart

with such an open heart and such a sensitive soul
you'll probably spontaneously combust.

the more art i do, the more passionate about it i become. god i wish i could make a living from it..but i do love my major. :/

PHS SShelton Lester

who am i, that the eyes that see my sin would look on me with love, and watch me rise again. who am i, that the voice that calmed the sea would call out through the rain, and calm the storm in me.

i want your love

i don't want to be friends..

heavy hearted

should i tell or should i not?
am i a bad person if i don't tell him he deserves so much better..or does telling make me a bad person?
she was my friend first.
but she has no respect for him, she treats him bad and pressures him sexually.
i'm so lost..i didn't think i felt this way :/

Hey hey
The way you spin me around
You make me dizzy when you play me
Like a kid with a crown

per aspera ad astra.

to the stars through difficulties, or, from hardships to the stars.
this is my first tattoo, it is in memory of my grandmother. but it means so much more as well, sparrow tattoos stand for a lot, including new beginnings, which is exactly what this represents, i told my design teacher that when i got per aspera ad astra tattooed on me, i would quit cutting.
five years, and its all gone now.
and its so scary to not be that girl anymore, but its for the best.
also the purple is for that she died of pancreatic cancer. i try my hardest not to dwell on her death, but much of it led to my depression and self injury. also, sailors used to get these after successfully traveling long journeys. sparrows/swallows were the first thing they would see when they got close to land. the symbolize a safe journey home. i feel as if i have been through an immense struggle in my life, and this in a way guides me. it is my reward for surviving.
also, all swallows return back to san juan capistrano every year. having one tattooed on you shows pride and loyalty, also saying you will always come home. sailors used to have these, and if they drowned it is said that the swallows would come and take his soul to heaven. (part of where from hardships to the stars comes in). swallows choose a mate for life, tattoos of them also represent fidelity and finding love.
so yeah, my tattoo means a lot, exactly why i got it (:
i love this..

your words are saccharine sweet
and i swear, to me, they don't mean a thing
they're just clever little tools to sway my thinking

he didn't ask me to stay
instead
he told me he didn't want to wait
i told him it was his decision.
and he didn't even take long to decide
he didn't sit and contemplate
or fight with me about it.
he gave in.
i feel like this is all too familiar.
this pain.
i feel like its all i've known for the last few years
i remember when tyler left
how mad i was .. it didn't even bother me at first that he could turn away without feeling any pain.
and all the things he said to me
how it set me so far back
i'm so scared to be there again. i hate seeing him.